I used to be really into alternative fashion.
Being into alternative fashion, specifically decora and goth styles, in a way, requires excess. Much. Lots of stuff. I also was born and raised in America, which has pretty unanamously been dubbed as the land of stuff. I was raised to want things.
From infancy to about 8 years old I was in an apartment where we didn't buy posters but made our own art to put on the wall, and then we sold all our stuff to move into a trailer, which is an experience that effected me and my sibling very differently. For me, I kind of saw it as my duty. As the older sibling, this was a decision my parents made, and I thought it would be much easier to just get over it, and get rid of things, even if I didn't know why. My sibling did not have this mindset. My sibling has often had the urge to cling passionately onto every little thing. While this is partially a trait I admire, it has also been destructive to their mental health in ways nobody in my family knew how to help. She would cry and yell after having to throw away seemingly garbage that she would keep. Her room was always a mess. The shared room we had was at times a mess, and when we moved into a house, her stuff would take up parts of rooms. I kind of always had the thought that I would never let it get that bad.
But we are all human. We all tackle things in different ways. Where I excelled in limiting my stuff, I faultered at cleaning. I still suck at doing the dishes, but laundry is pretty easy now. That isn't really what I mean though. I still wanted things.
During that time I really wanted an American Girl Doll. I wanted a lot of toys in my childhood. And we were very blessed during that time. I ended up getting a MyLife Doll. I also had a huge thing with stuffed animals. In my mind, every stuffed animal was a friend to me. I was very lonely, and when I would attach onto these items, it felt like I had a friend alongside me, and it comforted me. This would be a problem in my teenage and adult years.
Eventually, like I said, we moved into a house, and I finally truly had my own space in my own room. It was great. It was at the tail end of 2020, and at that time, I started getting really into aesthetics, specifically corvidcore and decora kei. The positives of that was that I am really knowledgeable on interior design and colors and stuff like that now, but the negative effects were much more destructive.
Both these aesthetics were ones that relied on accumulating things. In fact, if you want to persue any aesthetic that doesn't align with items that you already have, it is an aesthetic that relies on you spending money to pursue it. And that can be really dangerous, and I spent probably 1-3 years of my life buying stuff and probably 70% of it I did not need and do not own now. Corvidcore, named after corvids or crows, is an earth toned, sometimes medival aesthetic that is centered around the hobby of collecting little things, much like crows. Decora Kei is an aesthetic centered around excessive color and the muchness of the style.
On an artistic standpoint, there is nothing wrong with being inspired by these aesthetics, or even pursuing them if it brings you joy. The problem with me was I was trying to form my identity and explore what I liked through buying things, and it led to overconsumption.
My room used to look like this.
It was decently composed. It was in my desired aesthetic. But I wasn't happy. And I had so. much. stuff. Toys. Things that I just wasn't using, or electronics that take up battery life and electricty. It took a toll on my mental health. I wanted so badly to fit in somewhere, to solve my problems, and I thought the only way to do that was through buying stuff. I had 4-5 shopping apps. Looking at wishlists filled me with dread. But I thought, at least I'm cool.
I used to look down on minimalists, or people with a basic style, because I truly didn't understand what it meant to be minimalist. I thought minmalist goth was stupid, because how can you combine those two things? I can tell you I disagree with that now. I don't think enough people understand what it is actually like to be minimalist.
It started with my journey on social media, which is a whole different thing I could get into, but basically I realized my habits were destructive, and I wanted to change. I felt childish and disorganized in my room, I was drained from social media: because that's what it's designed to do. Keep you on it. For however long you have. I hated that. I hated AI. I hated the culture on social media, I hated it all. So I went through a very long process of removing it from my life and in the process of doing so, developed plenty of healthier habits. I have a flip phone now.
I also experienced being homeless for a very short time, but really that was all that I needed to realize that something needed to change in my life. I learned very much on the concept of character, and the approach to literally just...living, with limited food, and limited stuff. I have been blessed and priveleged my entire life, and as I have slowly gotten rid of my stuff, I have tried to be generous as possible. I want to elaborate on this.
Another big thing I learned was the concept of feng shui. And this kinda just fell into my lap. I was still addicted to Youtube, it was the last social media thing I felt I had to get rid of, and this guy called Feng Shui Modern just kept coming up on my feed. And the reason I'm talking about minimalism and not feng shui is because feng shui would lead me into minimalism, and get me to really consider what I have in my space and where I place my things. And something I noticed was because I was interested in interior design before, when he talked about how you felt when an object was in a certain place, I found myself agreeing with him, and when I moved my bed into a better position, I truly felt like I slept better. I slowly started to treat my bed as sacred, rather than the catch all for eating and watching TV and sleeping and a more comfortable chair. There was some furniture that my parents gave me that I didn't really love at all, but I kept around because it was just a hastle to get rid of them. While through minimalism I did repurpose some of my furniture, including turning my rolltop desk into a mini kitchen, I got rid of so much furniture, simply because I realized I was only keeping it out of obligation.
I have so many tips and tricks I'm using to keep an overall calmer and more peaceful life through minimalism and feng shui, and I am going to share them here for free! Really adopting the mindset that you control what you invite into your space is something that can help you feel a lot calmer and in control. I could not be more excited to share. Just like the rest of this website, this will constantly be updated.
This year, in 2026, I helped my sibling move into her first apartment. On my phone, I had started making a phone chain with gacha keychains, and I knew there was a shop near where she was moving, so I asked to go there. Ironically, 2 minutes after getting a rare smiski, I dropped my phone on the concrete sidewalk, and I started to cry.
Why was I crying? Well, I thought it was broken. I cracked the screen and it stopped working. My little flip phone had been the first step in me rejecting social media and the modern tech world. I felt like it had become part of my identity. It cost me a bit of money. I felt like I needed it to contact my friends and I had lists on there of things I wanted to remember, and as someone with ADHD I can get very specific about such things sometimes.
But then as I thought about it, (and the car ride was 2 hours so I had a long time to think about it) I wondered why I cared so much about it at all. Everything that I mentioned that mattered about that phone I could do another way. My model is the F1 Horizon Wren, because I wanted a music player, but I have an MP3 for that. I haven't put one song on my phone yet. In terms of contacting my friends, I just decided to invite Discord back into my life recently, and email is always an option. Discord is free. (Not always reliable, but free) Notes can literally be written down on paper, and since I have a little journal in my pocket at all times for the ADHD memory thing, I could easily write down the notes in my journal if I had to. This made me a lot less sad, and more confused if I even needed this model to begin with. Eventually, we got home, I plugged in my phone, it was fine. But it made me re-evaluate how I think about minimalism.
Like it or not, (I certainly don't LOVE it) everything in our lives is temporary. Everything is breakable or consumable over time, it's just a matter of time. That TV you just bought has a number of different ways it can be broken and when it does, are you going to shill over a couple hundred dollars to get another one? Probably, if TV is important to you, however if I can stay on the TV example, how much time do you really spend sitting on your butt and watching a movie or a tv show or a youtube video? I'm not saying that time is wasted, I used to collect DVDs. I love movies. Plenty of media has changed my life. That's another thing, however, that I realized while looking at my dozens of DVDs. How short my life is. I would be lucky if I got the time to watch all of these again, no matter how much I love them. In fact half of them, I probably never watch. I think about all the money I spent, even if I got it on sale, just for a plastic box to sit on my shelf for possibly years.
I got rid of them. I'm going back to the phone here, but why do I need two things to play music for me? Why do I need two things to take notes? Why do I need 100 movies when realistically I will only watch 5 over and over and see a new one if I like in the theatre? Because here's the answer: I won't. There will never be a situation in which I will be taking notes in a notebook and I will simultaneously need to also use my phone. (yes, if they have different purposes that is fine) It's ludicrous. I have been fooled into thinking I need more for so many reasons.
I also want to talk about bonds really quick. Emotional or mental bonds/attachments to items. It is so easy to do, and the media excels at getting you to feel emotions to buy things. (though I could argue they have gotten worse over the years, maybe because I stopped falling for it, or maybe we are getting stupider) As someone who used to have tons of stuffed animals, I understand this all too well. I was very lonely growing up, and I saw these soft creatures as my friends. Every time I would get rid of them, it was like I was getting rid of a friend. But it was actively hurting me. Everytime I would look at my stuffed animals I would less and less think, "look at my cute pile of friends!" and more think how cleaner the space would feel if they weren't there. They caught dust. In feng shui, toys or dolls can host demons, and I felt this for myself when I angled my stuffed animals away from my bed. Kinda helped with that detatchment, to be honest. And stuffed animals still bring me comfort. I sleep on a big panda named Po. I cherish and dress up Djungelskog. But I feel so much happier now that I have less. And anyone can form attachments to anything. My sibling, as I mentioned earlier, gets attached to clothes and things I would consider trash. These are real emotions and when you're in it you don't realize how these emotional bonds can be draining to your bank account, your mental health, and your space.
The biggest thing to hang onto is that nothing lasts forever. It's a sad thought, especially when you cherish something. But the idea is not to get rid of all you cherish, it's to keep only what you feel you need. I do not need 100+ stuffed animals and toys. They serve no purpose other than sitting there and comforting me. I feel much more comforted in an empty, clean space, and one would argue: if I need that many items just to feel comforted, what is hiding beneath all that, that I have been avoiding and soothing with toys? That is what I want to confront, instead of wasting my money. It is a difficult thing to do. Again, there are influences everywhere telling us to buy things. Now I am only influenced by my reoccuring thought of what I may need. And I specifically say reoccuring, because I try not to buy things until I have thought about it for a significant portion of time and usually that irons itself out. If I forget it, it wasn't that important. (and I know I was just talking about my memory, I can talk about how wishlists have helped me in another essay) But, if I'm constantly thinking, hm, I would really like to have a duster, I will buy a duster. It will clearly serve a purpose in my life. Other than that, I just buy food and rent and such. I find it is eaiser to spend more freely on food, because I deeply love it, and it's a way I experience new things, however I do not use Doordash or Uber Eats anymore. Those apps encourged me to spend way too much on unhealthy food. Nowadays I spend money on ingredients and spices and new foods from the store.
I never know how to conclude these things. End of the day, it's about what will best serve you for a time. There is an aspect of Japanese culture where they talk about treating things as you would your lover. I like this soft idea. Gently laying down things. Taking care of your things. Reducing your things to lavish attention onto only the ones you need. Everything will break, but it doesn't have to be now.